What"s the soundtrack of her youth? In discoverhotmail.com"s best Song ever before column, us revisit the tunes the made us who us are. In today"s installment: the soundtrack come every crappy morning after, Liz Phair"s "Fuck and also Run."

When you"re a kid, the word "fuck" has actually an unassailable appeal; its crude oil naughtiness renders for a small bomb rebellious youths love come throw. And also behind the frisson that the verb"s cultural dirtiness is what truly renders it taboo: sex and the desire to have it. That"s component of the long-lasting draw of Liz Phair"s "Fuck and Run," initially released in 1991 top top the Chicago indie legend"s Girly-Sound cassette tapes, and then reworked for her debut studio album Exile in Guyville (1993).

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Today, on its 25th anniversary, Guyville is gift reissued. "Fuck and also Run" is tho its shrugging, blunt self: a post-hookup complaint track that"s likewise a singalong jam. It stays the anthem for people who keep obtaining mixed up v the wrong people. "I deserve to feel it in mine bones," Phair laments ~ above the chorus, "I"m gonna spend another year alone." discoverhotmail.com talked to Phair around the song"s origins, love, and also what happens the morning after. Here"s what we learned.

The song"s morning-after malaise to be loosely based upon her life experience.

"I don’t think the truth were exactly right, there was no one encounter that i went home and also just wrote the tune about—I think I had a couple different hook-ups where I wound up in someone’s room that was a perfect nice person but I wasn’t ready to have actually sex through them. And also we either had sex or practically had sex—some situations that ns had gained myself into, wanting something the wasn’t what ns got and coming away with that man of ns participated willingly however I still felt wrong about it. Ns couldn’t discover a ar to it is in in the human being where things taken place in a means that felt favor they should.

It was a song lamenting my inability to discover what ns was spring for and placing myself in situations that feeling bad. Every night girlfriend think, This is it, I’m gonna perform it best this time, and also then you wake up up in the morning like, Nope, as soon as again ns feel like I’m harming myself make the efforts to uncover love, i m sorry is something the I want to find. It was yes, really hard. It’s still really hard, nothing’s changed."

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When Phair initially wrote the song, she didn"t think many world would hear it.

"I think that’s what strikes me the most when i listen to it—the finish innocence of not really establish anybody was going to hear it, or only thinking a couple of people that were mine friends were gonna listen what ns was recording. was kind of just goofing around and being brash and also saying shocking things to be shocking.

The process of recording was unselfconscious and experimental—and embarrassing in ~ times. That’s not that I was outside the recording environment. Does the make sense? ns think ns tried to pretend to it is in tougher 보다 I was. I felt a many insecurity, i felt an extremely permeable around the things that had actually happened come me emotionally. Yet at the very same time, I placed forward a mask the toughness, coolness, and rawness, and also shockingness. Friend know, there was a lied or two. Ns was leading v a false front."

Phair was creating rock songs when the genre was conquered by a male allude of view.


"When we started to make "Fuck and also Run," i was really clear that I want it to be a absent song. Top top Girly-Sound, it could’ve unable to do a number of ways. Us could’ve cure it as a an ext soft and intimate song. When a woman back then chose she to be going come step into the arena of rock, there was no way to carry out a rock track without in which method thinking about how men view absent songs.

I think the was interesting, to take this song around my tiny weird, azer morning-after insecurities...back then, come say, This is an essential enough story to placed in a absent song, was like making a political statement. The my weird-girl, personal experience might be the scaffold because that a legit rock radio song."

The song was totally misunderstood when it was exposed to a wider audience.

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"A most stuff was really provocative earlier then. I was in a world where shock value was part and parcel in the indie-rock scene. Yet when Guyville was around to come out us were gonna execute that whole thing almost everywhere again where other human being heard it. Ns suddenly obtained self-conscious and also I thought, "Oh shit." ns knew that in society at large, this wasn’t going to be understood in the context it was intended come be; my indie step would get it, what ns meant, and also how much I was actually living it, however the larger culture was just going to be right scarlet letter. It was very, very frightening. I shed my knees out from under me since I thought, "I’m not certain I deserve to justify it in the general public realm. I’m no sure, also if I define it—I don’t recognize if I have the right to bridge the gap."

"I was suddenly gaining fan letter from music men who wanted to have sex v me and thought i was up for it."

It did come to be something so plenty of music journalists choose up. I was like "the blow-job queen" everywhere. There to be no context and also it to be literal to them. Ns was suddenly acquiring fan letter from music men who wanted to have sex with me and thought ns was up for it. The was simply this entirety avalanche of, No, no, no, friend don’t understand, that’s what I’m type of pushing earlier against—I’m trying to fight for ladies to have authorship in your sexuality and fighting to be a sex subject, no a sex object. The was just completely lost by the run in audience size."

That line around understanding sex and also power from a young age—"Fuck and also run / even when i was 12"—didn"t cause much debate at the time.

"I don’t remember that really being picked up. The funny part is, i didn’t shed my virginity until I was at the very least 18, most likely 19. Yet I had actually felt that energy and also sort the bumped against guys that. Though i hadn’t had sex and also I wasn’t even close to having sex at 12, over there was that awareness of how the human being works. Friend know—when you’ve provided something but you actually feel prefer it to be taken far from you. Like, providing sex because I to be hoping the would turn to love, that standard thing, and also that feeling of gift used. That feeling of, exactly how do I get to the sex that i want once they’re simply trying to get sex indigenous me? I understood that in ~ 12—I probably construed that at nine, and also it wasn’t necessarily connected to actual physics acts."


Surprisingly, puberty queen Judy Blume to be a large influence.

" to be the crystallized version of whereby I realized, you have the right to do this—you can be creative in this way. They to be shocking and an extremely sexual, yet I always felt it was a true woman’s perspective. I check out them so young—probably in ~ 10 and also 11—and she discovered a method for the power and truth of female sexuality to be autonomous indigenous the male, patriarchal construct. I felt like as soon as I heard she speak about sexuality, it was really just how she felt, how a mrs felt, and also I never ever heard that talked about in society anywhere. She to be the very first one that linked how we suffer lust and desire and also arousal, and it was simply so frank and matter-of-fact. It to be hugely releasing and that’s that."