I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T isn't just an amazing throw ago song placed out by Webbie approximately 2008. Elevation is just how I was increased to be.

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Just like in the song as soon as he talks about the woman being in manage of her finances and also not gift dependent on anyone- no needing a man, that's exactly how my parents raised me.

I was always fiercely independent, also as a little child. I was raised by a mother who to be even more fiercely independent and also her mother- lets just say that woman is the meaning of independence.

I didn't ever before need a man, however I always had one. I never ever let a man manage my life. Why need to I? i knew much better because relationship weren't promised to last.

I had actually just lost the love of my life because I wasn't ready to let go of my independence. I hosted on to it to lot with him, and also I lost him. At least that's partly exactly how I witnessed it in ~ the time.

I to be rebounding and also started date this brand-new guy. Honestly? He appeared great. He appeared super nice and caring and perfect.

Then one by one he started finding factors to cut my near friends out of my life. Lock seemed prefer legitimate reasons.

I obtained to drunk with among them. She journey me house from the bar. She made sure I had actually my car, she do the efforts to gain me to spend the night v her however I wouldn't. He said she should've remained with me. Made certain that ns was okay. Made certain that I obtained to occupational the next day.

I didn't reference her, but he did. He to be fighting mad with her and also so I thought I would just hang out with her there is no him discovering or there is no him being there. I finished up simply not hanging out through her.

The other friend, she was supposed to watch my puppy. She said me she would. She trusted she roommate to do it instead because she had to do something- and also he didn't execute it.

As you have the right to imagine the guy I was seeing to be enraged v her. Honestly? He had been feather for any kind of reason to reduced her the end of mine life indigenous the beginning. He couldn't stand her.

She had actually been my best friend because I to be 2. She knew me far better than ns knew myself and she warned me against letting him move in. Ns of food didn't listen, and also that was a substantial mistake.

After he found his perfect excuse to "end our friendship"; ns didn't really have any type of friends external of the team he and also I constantly hung out with.

He was very skillful in his control over me. Made me think that he to be doing it because that my benefit. That he was just looking out for what was ideal for me.

He had actually me diverted from nearly everyone. Had me at residence cooking, and also cleaning, while that did nothing. He would sit at house after work and play video clip games for hrs on in.

He expected me come come house after work and also take care of everything, however I couldn't. That made me feel favor I wasn't good enough.

Then my fibromyalgia flared up because that the first time and it to be unbearable. The an illness took far my energy and in return provided me migraines, pain, unimaginable fatigue.

He looked in ~ it as I was using it together an forgive to it is in lazy. He would tell me "that it's funny exactly how you have the power for your niece yet not to clean the house" and the residence really wouldn't be that bad.

I had power for her due to the fact that I saved up mine energy and chose whereby to spend it. I had actually to use my energy like a financial institution account. Ns would need to pick and choose where to spend my energy and also what to be worth spending the on. My niece was constantly worth it. He never construed that.

He expected me to have the ability to go and also do similar to anyone else and I couldn't. He intended a many things and also belittled me for not being may be to carry out them.

The entire time ns was through him, i was never good enough. Nothing was ever great enough for him. Being v him was miserable and also honestly currently I'm happy he left me.

A couple of weeks before he packed every his stuff up, he had told me that he want to buy us house. He had been looking in ~ house and there were a few he had actually in mind.

I said him the he might buy one and I would certainly live there with him, but that i was walking to keep my apartment. He was fighting mad.

He couldn't know why i wouldn't give up mine apartment and also just pay rent to him. Ns tried to obtain him to know that if we damaged up I would be the end of a location to live.

If I relocated in with him, I would certainly be helping him pay because that a home that might not even be mine. Ns couldn't provide up every my independence.

I believed he had pertained to terms through it. Ns guess in a means he did. That packed every one of his ingredient up while ns was at work and also met me external of ours apartment and also told me he was leaving me.

He called me that i didn't store the house clean enough, the he didn't desire to be through someone who was sick and also that ns was walk to it is in a damaging mother.

Looking back now, in ~ that suggest in my life, it was the darkest. I was the unhappiest i had ever been. He didn't steal mine independence; ns let him have it.

I willingly provided up something that has constantly been together a defining part of myself and I will never ever go the again.

Never again will I provide up my freedom for a man. If I have actually to, he isn't precious it. Ns would rather be by myself then through someone that didn't recognize me.

My story has a happy ending though. I have actually a man now who understands that around me. That loves mine nieces and also nephews simply as much as i do.

The male I'm with, he might not like all of my friends, but he accepts them, and also that's all the really matters.

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And every the friend he cut out of mine life are earlier in my life and we room closer than ever. I love them all so much.