I am resting with mine ex friend who has actually a girlfriend. This was not my intention at all, ns swear! We had been date for a tiny under 2 years and also broke up six months ago.

You are watching: Sleeping with my ex boyfriend who has a girlfriend

We never ever really stopped talking after ~ the break up and made plans last month to view each various other to ‘make points work.’

It simply felt for this reason safe and familiar. We easily fell right into the exact same habits and we slept together. A couple of times.

He is currently seeing someone however says it isn’t serious and he still cares about me. I have been questioning him if we can pick up where we left off yet he pulls away whenever I carry up getting earlier together.

Should I offer him one ultimatum?! It’s either me or his brand-new girlfriend.


Ms. Ultimatum

I’m resting With my Ex-Boyfriend Who has actually A Girlfriend


Dear Ms. Ultimatum,

There is A LOT to unpack here.

First the all, I want to to speak I perform sympathize through what you’re walking through. Ns think a lot of of civilization will check out this and automatically think you’re in the not correct (I’m not saying you’re not, but I know your heartache and struggle.)

Listen, breakups room hard, messy, and also take time to completely heal. Girlfriend didn’t point out why the two of you damaged up, however it yes, really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

One, or both that you, decided the connection wasn’t repairable and it to be time to relocate on.

Your first mistake right here was keeping in contact and also trying to do it work. Ns am a large proponent of no contact after a breakup so friend don’t acquire into this messy situations.

But now that you’re here, what have the right to you do?!

Honestly, and also I speak this wholeheartedly, MOVE ON.

Your ex-boyfriend is mirroring he’s not a particularly great person. He’s lying come his new girlfriend, he’s stringing girlfriend along, that obviously can’t have actually an adult conversation with you around what’s happening. It begs the question, why do you want him in the very first place?!

Ms. Ultimatum, please, please, please choose up her crown and get out of this as conveniently as friend can.

Don’t degrade yourself further by sleeping with this guy who doesn’t love you, lot less, respect you.

And for the love of god – please perform not offer him an ultimatum!

No good, honest, loving relationship ever started with an ultimatum. And also you’re trying to restart this connection after a breakup, affair, and also ultimatum?!

It’s time to placed on some Lizzo and also Ariana Grande and also NEXT!

Sincerely, Claudia

Honestly, I understand the very nice of sleeping with one ex. I truly, truly do.

But no great can come native this.

One thing is 2 grown adults having actually an honest and also open conversation around their relationship and also seeing if they have the right to fix things.

And one more is jumping into bed through an ex-boyfriend the end of habit or loneliness.

But if there’s one point I recognize is this: Sex is just Sex. Don’t think that sleeping with any kind of man will certainly make him want you, miss you, or great to get back with you.

It won’t happen. And also especially if that ex-boyfriend you’re sleeping with has a new girlfriend.

All you’re act in this situationship is asking for disrespect and also hurt feelings.

And ns refuse to think you think that’s what girlfriend deserve.

A half-ass partnership with a male who can’t be fully there?! Girl, we should love oneself a little bit more than that.

Grab her girlfriends, contact your mom, buy part Ben & Jerries and also repeat after ~ me ‘I don’t desire anyone who doesn’t desire me,’ okay?!

And I recognize what you’re asking yourself….

Why Is mine Ex reaching Out come Me once He has A Girlfriend?

Honestly that doesn’t mater why he’s reaching out.

But if you desire to go further down the rabbit-hole, these room the key reasons males reach out to their exes (even as soon as they have actually a girlfriend)

They’re lonely

Yes. The other L-word.

Just since you’re through someone doesn’t average you’re totally satisfied and also happy.

Plenty of world experience loneliness when they’re in relationships. Just as much as solitary people, think it or not.

So him reaching out to you can be less around him absent you and much more of that trying to to fill his very own inner void.

The Grass Is Greener

The ‘grass is greener’ syndrome is a common issue among many human being (men and woman alike)

It is once you are always looking in ~ what you’re lacking instead the what you have.

People who commonly get a case of Grass-Is-Greeneritis will likely always be to compare their existing girlfriends come an ex. They might look in ~ the negative qualities their new partners have actually instead that the good ones.

These people are most likely to obtain nostalgic and also end up getting to out to an ex.

Note: These men are most likely to have actually been getting to out to prior exes as soon as YOU were dating them. Lock are most likely never solve and always unhappy in their present relationships.

He wants Sex

I mean… This goes without saying in all the cases.

Your ex go not now nor ever want to be ‘just friends.’


When he says he want’s to it is in friends: Sex.

When that asks ‘how have actually you been?’: Sex.

When he sends out you a meme: SEX!!

Listen. He might be a quite guy and also maybe sex isn’t the an initial thing on his mind (but that believes that?!) yet I’m ready to go the end on a limb and also say that this male is only reaching the end to you because you represent an opportunity to get laid.

Unfortunately, males think it’s less complicated to sleep through someone they’ve currently slept v than v someone new. It’s familiar, it’s safe, and it’s (in your minds) EASY.

So if you want to respond to his cute tiny ‘how space you doing?’ text, go best ahead, however don’t lie to yourself.

He has actually an ulterior motive. Whether that’s pour it until it is full a void or sex (or both concurrently LOL!) – I just want girlfriend to it is in aware.

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Personally, ns wouldn’t respond. However if you’re a nicer, kinder human being than ns am then walk ahead. But please, please, pleaaaase don’t sleep v an ex friend who has a girlfriend.

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